Every year, I hope the holiday season will be different. And when the temperatures drop (sometimes lol) and the decorations come out, my hopes are dashed. Don’t get me wrong – I love the holiday season, but there’s one thing I wish for every year – someone special to share it with. Even as I write those words, I want to throw my laptop across the coffee shop. Why? Because it feels so cheesy and cliche’ – something the main character in a Hallmark movie would say with this ridiculous, dreamy look in her eyes. As someone who strives to be strong and independent, I don’t like admitting that I long to be cherished and cared for.

Here’s what’s funny – just like a good portion of the female population, I enjoy Hallmark movies. But, they are far from reality and I am living proof of that. Being single in my mid-thirties, I’m embracing a story I never would have written for myself. Now, before I lose the majority of the male readers with this lackluster romantic tale, we all have something in common. The journey of life is rarely picture perfect. Sure, there are moments that feel like heaven, but there are also seasons that don’t live up to the hype. Something unexpected happens or people don’t act the way we anticipated and the trajectory of our lives is altered. Things are constantly changing and we are doing our best to adjust and make the most of it. There’s a longing for our lives to be different and more fulfilling, but for some reason, it’s always just out of reach; a mirage that over-promises and under-delivers every single time. 

During the holiday season, that longing is amplified. Unmet desires are louder. Grief is heavier. Loneliness is more intense. Whatever disappointment we are facing, this season makes it seem more magnified and pronounced. And it’s tempting to run from that heartache – fill our schedules with all the holiday festivities to avoid sitting in misery. But at the end of all the hustle and bustle, our disappointment is still there, sitting on the couch right where we left it. I’m not saying we should skip enjoying the holiday season – after all, dwelling in despair the entire time wouldn’t be healthy either. But I do believe there’s something to uncover beneath the sadness. The trick is slowing down long enough to discover it. 

When I sit with my longings, they push me towards the only One who can satisfy them. Just like a good father knows what’s best for his children, my heavenly Father knows the best thing for me is to draw me closer to Him and help others find and follow Him. That’s not only true for me, but for all of humanity past, present, and future. 

It’s why we celebrate Christmas – to remember our Savior who came to dwell among us and rescue us from the power of sin and death. The name Emmanuel literally means “God with us.” We were created to be in relationship with Jesus, to walk with Him and talk with Him. Everything we’ve ever wanted is found in Him. His presence is the key to abundant life. Anything outside of that will leave us disappointed and longing for more. 

The love story I hoped for may never come to fruition, but that’s not the pinnacle of my life – walking with Jesus is. Surrendering to His will is the ultimate path of fulfillment and joy. The story He has written for my life is exactly what it’s supposed to be, and it’s a daily choice to be thankful and glad in it. And when I allow myself to see that, I can fully embrace the life He’s given me. In Him, I am cherished and cared for, and He reminds me of that truth through friends and family everyday. 

Your story may not be like mine, but there’s probably something that hasn’t turned out as you’d hoped. Whatever you are longing for this advent season, consider giving it to Jesus. That act of surrender looks different for everyone, but it starts with the recognition that at our deepest core, everything we’ve ever wanted is found in Him. Embrace Emmanuel – God with us – to allow His presence to change everything.